What does it mean to be real, to be authentic in a world especially on Social Media) that focusses on showing only Beauty, Success, a perfect Life, the Fun Stuff?
How does it affect our self-worth, the trust in our path and talents and our uniqueness when it seems like everyone is constantly shining, happy, integrated, extremely knowledgeable, have their lives together and are successful beyond measure?
Trust, self-worth and centeredness of course is partly rooted in our live's journey up to now, our childhood, relationships, experiences and interactions with the world, the star constellations at our birth and so much more but we all know that we always have the ability to change and grow.
This requires the willingness to take full responsibility for our lives, for where we are, how we feel and get to work to look within, acknowledge and recognize our limiting beliefs, the leaks where we compare, envy, project so we dont have to feel our own pain or unworthiness. Being authentic to me means dealing with all we can at this moment, looking at ourself and allowing ourselves to become more and more real, integrated and authentic by doing this work.
I have not met one person yet in my 22 years of teaching, mentoring, training, educating and holding sacred space for people to unfold, get embodied, find their voice, truth and come closer to their own unique beautiful Self and path who had no self doubts, no fears, no worries or no limiting beliefs. We all have it in one way or another. And even this makes us very unique.
And this is exactly the point! WE ALL HAVE IT! So instead of showing only a little portion of us, the shining, positive, happy, centered and having-it-all-figured out part we miss out on showing our human-ness, our beautiful differences from and same-ness with others.
There can also be the opposite, one of my teachers Carolyn Myss always called it "Woundology" - always speaking about our shortcomings, our failures, our wounds, our doubts, our hurts and our past - this also is a way of not showing the full version of ourselves as it is a way to find connection with other people through our wounds and pains. This can lead to staying with our wounds as this is how we connect, how we feel intimacy and open up with other people in our raw-ness and vulnerability.
We can tend to one or the other extremes. Depending on our conditioning we might come across as super or over-positive, shining and radiant or as always content human being. We all know that there is cycles, there is waves and there are ups and downs in every one of us.
As the old taoist masters and wisdom keepers of the earth always knew, it is always about finding a place of balance. Balance is constantly shifting and changing - it is not an end-state but an ever-changing moving process as life itself that is why it is so important to be present as much as possible and to stay awake to all perceptions as well as inner and outer movements.
One or the other extreme can never be real, integrated or natural. We humans as well as nature are composed of opposites. Shadow and light, strength and weakness, doubt and clarity all live in us. And this is the beauty of being in this human existence - we have the ability to feel, to be moved, to be touched and to change.
Being real and authenticity has been a big theme for me as long as I can think. I guess so many factors come together in order to define who we are now and what we can do to change, transform, become more whole and real.
In the end it is a path of reflection, exploring, falling and getting up again, learning, evolving - it is not a linear process and will never be.
Through my upbringing, my star constellation and many other factors my way of trying to be loved and to belong was trying to fit in. The advantage of this character trait is that I could be in very different group environments with very different people and blend in, be part of the group, be somewhat liked (which always was super important to me) and feel sometimes more and sometimes less to belong or be part of . . .
It took a while though to understand that no matter how I (subconsciously) tried to blend in and be liked I was not liked by All, which I believe is quite normal as our Way of Being will always trigger (some) others in their core wounds.
I tried for some time to get out of the role of "the good girl". Good girls (or boys) can be liked but I believe can trigger as much as the loud, provokative or dramatic ones can. I guess we have to understand why we subconsciously play certain roles and have certain tendencies by understanding what is the need underneath it.
Working with Archetypes, Breathwork, Inquiry & Soul Coaching are some of my go to tools I deeply resonate with. The Archetypal work can help us to understand better which Characters are dominant and which are neglected, abandoned or hidden. We can then consciously choose to integrate and awaken those parts and quiet the critical, manipulative and judgemental parts our ourself.
Having done a lot of deep transformational work over the years I started to understand that the deep desire for true authenticity is one theme in my life. I always belief the deepest way to work with our inner landscape next to self-exploration and inner work is to actually teach it. Having explored and dealt with issues firsthand gives us tremendous resources and understanding to support others on their path.
Life experience is a master key for teaching that no book or course can ever replace! But we can put our life experience out there by teaching and sharing to support others in their journey towards authenticity, joy and purpose.
I was touched deeply when doing Enneagram Work first with my amazing Holistic Counseling Teachers Rafia and Turiya and later in Claudio Naranjo's school "SAT - Seekers after Truth" to find out that I am Enneagram Type 3. The Enneagram is a very complex and deep system far from categorizing or simplifying any type. And it actually took me about 3 years to actually figure out who I am in that map which then was a revelation.
Long story short: One big theme of Enneagram Type 3 is or can be "Authenticity". Type 3 often come with the chameleon trait of blending in according to the situation and group of people. Of course there is much more to it but let's keep it simple for now 🙂
In the Human Design System, a relative new holistic self-knowledge tool combining astrology, the I Ching & Kabbalah dividing personalities into five energy types I found more explanations of certain tendencies of being with and in the world. This system also confirmed that I need time to find my own answers by observing and getting impulses from the outside. This was a relief as I always thought authentic real people always know what they want and have clear opinions and ideas about everything.
What I am trying to say is we are all so different so the path towards being real, being ourself and authentic Being might look completely different for different people. There is no one size fits all tools and recommendations.
I do believe it is one of the most important Superpower of our Time to be interested in Self-Knowing, Self-Development, and Self-Reflection taking full responsibility for where we are now and where we will be in the next 1, 5, 10 or 20 years.
There is no quick fix tools, but of course many amazing guides who teach from experience and their own practice and not from copying some "quick fix tools". Quick fix tools in my opinion are a waste of time as we do have to do the work. Immediate breakthroughs and insights and changes can always happen but only if we are willing to go in and do the work.
I do believe that in this time we have most amazing tools available to connect us to our bodies - Yoga, Breathwork & Embodiment Practices, Movement Meditations, to our Energy System - Chakra Work, Energie Work, Healing Sounds, to our Subconscious (which controls 95 % of our decisions) - Breathwork, Shamanic Journeying, Hypnotherapy, to the wisdom within - Meditation, Inquiry, Stillness, Nature-Immersions, Soul Coaching, Diving and so much more.
But maybe now more than ever should we listen deeply what feels right and learn to be aware when we fall into the trap of trying to do shortcuts. Allow yourself with your authentic heart to feel into what others are offering and you will feel if there is true sincerity and interest in supporting you on your journey to purposeful living or if somebody is trying to sell you high-priced shortcuts that might steal your time and trust in the long run.
I am, always was and will be obsessed with understanding myself, people, relationships, my purpose, the essence of life, human potential so I will continue to go into deep exploration, learning, experiencing as it is an important part of my life and my path.
I feel it deeply that it is my calling in this life to share what I experience, learn and realize and guide and hold space for others on the path to find their calling and their truth. Working with groups of people, witnessing our shared human-ness, growth and transformation is truly filling my heart with gratitude and joy.
Every micro-change and insight in each person towards embracing who they really are, understanding how limiting beliefs are holding them back and about the power to change through acceptance, practice, mindset, nervous system regulation, embodiment and breath practices is so beautiful to witness.
I believe it is super important to find our own way of being in the world as well as the Online World.
Some of us love to share everything and some (like me) prefer to share only parts or in certain environments ..... which I think is absolutely fine as we are all different.
As many of you I will probably continue to choose the best picture of me for postings that I can find as it gives me a much better feeling to see myself and like what I see and hopefully you too 🙂 why should I choose one that I don't like? On the other side I am open to share and show myself vulnerable and real in groups of people where it does feel safe and appropriate. This is different for each one of us so it is important to respect our boundaries and at the same time explore if there is limiting beliefs and patterns holding us back from doing things we would love to do but don't because of ... ...
Only you can find out how to embrace all parts of YOU, find your true authentic Self and develop the trust to show yourself and your talents to the world but it is much easier in a supportive environment with a beautiful group, community, mentor to be held in a safe space in Retreats, Breathwork Trainings or Yoga Immersions and benefit from the experience of the teacher/mentor as well as each single person of the group.
What do you need to trust and be yourself?
What are your limiting beliefs that hold you back? Where are you stuck?
What would you like to change? What are you ready to transform?
How does it look like to show yourself as you are? How would you describe that?
What opens you up? What makes you feel real? What makes you shine and be most natural? How does that feel in your body?
Is there one movement, one image, one word or sound that can remind you to come back to yourself and embrace yourself fully as you are or move towards your real integrated and authentic Self?
Love to hear your wisdom, questions & insights.
Remember we are all human - showing yourself as you are will open many doors (while doors not in resonance with your authentic self will close) and at the same time give others permission to also show up fully and be real! How beautiful is that?